Arcane Realisations

Plagiarism warning: This entry is a compilation of Scott Adams' predictions for the future. That way i wont have to inundate my blog with my stupid ideas. Warning: More stupidity ahead. I just found this totally hilarious and relevant in todays world of burgeoning INDUHVIDUALS.

1. In the future, authors will take a long time to get to the point, that way the book looks thicker.
2. On average, Induhviduals who are alive today will experience 80 years of complaint free living. Unfortunately, they'll live to 160.
3. The people who are studying Tai Chi Chuan(read me) instead of saving money are planning to beat us up and take our stuff when we're retired.
4. The people who are alive today will appear grotesque to the perfectly engineered children of the future.
5. In the future, we will accelerate our successful practice of brainwashing children so they;ll be nice to us while we plunder their planet.
6. Life in the future will not be like star trek.
7. In the future, there will be a huge market for technology products that help workers goof off and still get paid.
8. In the future, INternet capacity will increase indefinitely to keep up with the egos of the people using it. Cost will not be an issue.
9. In the future, your clothes will be smarter than you.
10. In the future, network computers will be purchased and used with the same enthusiasm as home exercise equipment.
11. ISDN services will improve to the point where you can mention it in a crowd without generating laughter.
12. Technology is impossible to predict, but stupidity is a known constant (well known).
13. We'll all use sophisticated Bozo filters to prevent idiots from communicating with us. We'll all lose ability to speak due to lack of communication.
14. Kids wont have access to online pornography, becausae the X rated internet sites will be clogged by horny adults who have more patience.

15. Technology will continue to make our lives harder and many of us will be delighted about it.
16. Scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
17. Technology will become th eleading cause of death, since we'll come up with many more ways to accidentally kill healthy people.
18. In the future, computer using men will be the sexiest males. Non computer users will eventually grow tails, sit in zoos, and fling dung at tourists.
19. In the future, we'll realise that the creatures we thought from other planets are actually smart people who live in switzerland - Neutral in wars, very very accurate clocks, highest standard of living, excellent chocolate, extraordinary pocket knives.

20. The trend of personal services will continue until busy people are handling almose none of their routine bodily functions themselves.
21. Lack of education will not be the biggest problem in the future. The problem wil be an excess of stupidity as more people fall below the incompetence line.
22. There will be a huge increase in the number of household services to compensate for the pathetic incompetence of the average person.
23. Democracy and capitalism will continue to give the shaft to lazy and stupid people. Neither group will complain.

24. In the future most democratic countries will be led by tall people with good hair and smart staff members.
25. The value of your vote will beome less than zero. That happens when the amount you pay in taxes to have your own vote counted is less than the value you get from the vote itself.
26. Voters in the future will be so baggled that they'll want smart people with bad hair to tell them what to do.
27. Scientists in the future will create a powerful and lethal aphrodisiac.
28. In the future, women will run the world in all democratic countries for reasons men know.
29. Most scientific and technical breakthroughs in the next century will be created by men and directed at finding replacements for women.

30. Skilled professionals will flee their corporate jobs and become their own bosses in ever increasing numbers. They'll become entrepreuners, consultants, contractors, prostitutes and cartoonists.
31. The balance of employment power will change. We'll witness the revenge of the downsized.
32. Highly qualified people will go on job interviews purely for recreation.
33. IN the future, employees will either be superstars or perspiration wipers. Those who arent qualified to do either will become managers.
34. All work will be outsourced, untill all the work on the planet is being done by one guy.
35. MOre people will work for themselves, creating a huge market for bizarre products.
36. Filthy, perverted hobos will refer to themselves as telecommuters, until someone points out that they arent being paid.

37. Aggressive companies in the future will replace standard cubicles with head cubicles.
38. Your only choices for new project names will be ones that sound undignified.
39. It will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.
40. The science of advertising will improve to the point where buying what you see in an advertisement is no longer optional.
41. Companies will make aggressive products that resist any attempts at refunds or cancellation whle actively trying to take more of your money.
42. It will be easy to find customers who ar gullible to buy any product, no matter how worthless and stupid it is.
43. THE MOST IMPORTANT CAREER SKILL WILL BE A LACK OF ETHICS


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